Mind of a Vampire
by HayloHato
Summary: Edward is finally ready to change Bella. But when he bites her, something strange happens. Instead of them being Vampires together; Edward changes into a human, and Bella becomes the vampire. BellaxEdward
1. Abrupt Changes

_The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.  
Germaine De Stael_

This story was previously known as wilting rosebuds, but there were major changes. So I just decided to start fresh.

Setting: After eclipse._  
_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these Character's. Stephenie Meyer does.

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**Bella's POV**

I couldn't help it, I was so nervous my palms were sweating. The day I had looked forward to was finally here. Well I suppose it was more the after events that I was looking forward to. Renee whispered something softly from the other side of the door knocking me back into reality.

She had put up a fight when I announced me and Edward's engagement. She begged me to finish my future, and not throw it away on some boy; but what she didn't get was that Edward wasn't just some boy. He was my soul mate, the guy I was in love and would always be in love with for all eternity.

At this moment in time the fact that I was getting older than him with each passing second didn't matter. I was almost twenty, and Edward would stay seventeen forever. I sucked in a deep breath of air trying to shake away my thoughts.

"Please mom. Just go I'll be fine. It's just my nerves." I said leaning over the toilet. I was only halfway ready and my wedding would begin in two hours. I wondered slightly if Edward felt quite as nervous as me. Probably not.

"Alright Bella darling. Good luck." my mother whispered before her footsteps disappeared out of the room. I stood up leaning over the sink now. I examined myself in the mirror closely. I was sure this would be the last night that I would be human.

Though Charlie, Renee and Phil were sort of clueless about that. I wondered if I would miss my brown eyes. I shook my head; the only thing that mattered was that I was with Edward.

I swung open the bathroom door, walking to where my dress hung. I traced my fingers around the intricate design. I hadn't even wanted to think how much it had cost the Cullen s. I sighed lightly before removing it from the hanger.

_'Alice, must you always overdo it?'_ I thought solemnly as I slipped into the dress. It felt as if it were made for me. Was it wrong that half of me was hoping that I'd hate it, and the other half was hoping that I'd love it?

I stared at myself in the full body mirror. The reflection was almost foreign to me. My hair was cascading in spiral curls all along my shoulders. Alice had her way like always and hired a make-up artist and a hairstylist for my big day. I couldn't help but worry about the money once more. I hoped this hadn't put a dent in the Cullen's pocket.

Expensive earrings dangled from my earlobes, I reached up rubbing them with my index and thumb fingers.

_'This is all for Edward.'_ I thought, slipping the new blue bracelet on my wrist. That covered something blue and something new.

The earrings were borrowed, because I refused to keep something so expensive. I pinned some of the curls back with Renee's old pearl beaded bobby pins. It was all done. Something blue, something new, something borrowed, and something old. I think that's the way the sentence went anyway. I wasn't quite sure.

I stared up at the red clock that was maybe the only color in the tiny white room. My heart raced as I realized I was almost late for my own wedding. I debated with myself whether I should go barefoot, or put on the shoes that Alice had bought. I went with the shoes knowing how bummed she'd be if I didn't. I couldn't possibly take her scolding.

I cracked open the door spotting Angela. She along with Rosalie, and Alice had been my bridesmaids. Despite how cold Rosalie could be to me, I loved her as if she was my own sister. I suppose soon enough she along with Alice would be my sisters. The corners of my mouth tugged into a pleasant smile.

The feelings of happiness soon washed away as the nausea hit again. My stomach was doing flips inside of me.

"Angela..." I weakly called waving her down. She glided over in the pretty peach dress that Alice had chosen for them.

"Tell everyone to get ready, because I'm ready." I whispered quickly.

Angela nodded, as I closed the door to the little room. My heart was racing, and in an hour I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

The Music began to play, as Charlie softly knocked on the door. I adjusted the dress before opening the door. Charlie was smiling with a small hint of tears in his eyes. "Bella it is time." he choked out.

I nodded and said nothing afraid that I would burst into tears at any moment. I reached out entwining my arm with Charlie's. I felt the whole weight of the wedding crash upon my shoulders. Reality sure did hurt sometimes. I matched Charlie's slow pace, both of us managing to fall in step to the music.

I peeked out down the path spotting Edward as he awaited me at the end of the aisle. The veil seemed suffocating and the distance too. It was the only things that separated me from the man who held my heart. I sucked in a sharp breath of air struggling to remember to breathe as Charlie glanced down at me.

Esme dabbed the corners of her eyes with a cloth. I smiled contently at her, and her famous acting. I suppose she wanted to make my mother feel less horrible about crying. Carlisle had his arm wrapped securely around Esme, and simply beamed at me. Phil was patting my mothers back, in attempt to calm the woman who was a mess of tears. I smiled at them. My two families were joining as one.

The wedding seemed to become a blur as I felt the tears pool behind my eyes. They soon trailed down my cheeks, as I tried my hardest to choke back my sobs. I couldn't quite contain my emotions anymore. I squeezed Edward's hands within my own, trying to get a grip on reality.

"You may kiss the bride."

Those were the words I had been waiting for. Everyone behind us stood up as Edward leaned lifting up the veil. He smiled at me, and leaned in much closer trapping me with one of those familiar head fogging kisses. He was gentle enough, and pulled away before I forgot too much.

We turned to face everyone. Mascara was running down Renee's face, the front of Phil's tuxedo looked as if someone had splattered oil all over it. Charlie ducked his head not wanting me to see him cry. I smiled glancing over at the Cullen's.

Esme and Carlisle held onto each other. They both smiled up at his, obviously approving of the ceremony today. I glanced around to look at the rest of my guests. I had no idea I knew this many people. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other growing positively impatient as I watched my bridesmaids and Edward's groomsmen exit one by one before we followed them.

"After you Mrs. Cullen." Edward whispered to me. I could tell her loved the sound of his last name replacing mine.

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I waited anxiously for Edward to return, my heart thudded loudly in the silent hotel room. I glanced down at my left hand, the ring fit securely around my slender finger. The wedding had turned out better than I could have imagined. It was of course over the top but I couldn't expect any less from Alice. I had gotten my hopes up figuring it would be almost normal, until doves started flying out of my wedding cake.

I smiled remembering the guests faces. My mother couldn't stop crying even though she promised she'd put on a brave face just for me. Charlie had teared up, and Esme and Carlisle looked completely content. Jacob and Seth had showed up too. I ended up dancing with both of them, even if the whole situation did make Jacob uncomfortable. He was still my best friend, and I suppose would try to support me no matter what.

Edward's face flashed back into my mind and I smiled immediately. Tonight would be the firsts for two things. Edward would change me into a Vampire, and then finally make love to me. I sighed in contentment falling back onto the bed. The night was becoming much more than I had expected and it hadn't even begun yet.

I stood up abruptly growing more impatient as the seconds ticked by. It was the start of forever as far as I was concerned, and Edward was late. I grumbled to myself, as I fixed my eyes on my reflection. I traced under my eyes which would soon be tinted purple. My deep brown eyes would be a pure reflection of Edward's topaz ones soon; well after my human blood faded away. And my heart it would be still soon too. I reached up to place my palm across my chest, feeling my heartbeat through my chest.

My head fluttered at the thought of it all. It was almost ironic, being happy at the thought of what would technically be my death. My fingers trailed down to trace my collarbone then dipped lower. They were soon met with the top of the tight strapless wedding dress. It was perfect in every sense of the word.

Everyone had insisted the dress looked stunning on me. It clung to my abdomen swaying with the rhythm of my body. The rest of the dress flowed out, almost consuming everything it touched. I had slipped out of the heels, and taken off the jewelry, but I still thought I looked pretty. The curls danced along my shoulders as I shook my head. I tried to focus on relaxing, but I couldn't shake my anxious feeling.

A faint blush crept upon my cheeks as the door to the room creaked open. Everything still felt so foreign to me but I hoped that would change soon enough. I turned to face Edward as he closed to space between us in small strides. His arms wrapped around me pressing me to his cold body. He smelled like tree sap and pine to be quite honest.

His head dipped low kissing the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling my body closer to his. At this moment it was just me and him, and that was all that would ever matter. He pulled away a soft smiled placed upon his lips. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He reached out scooping me into his arms. I rested my head against his marble chest melting into his touch.

My body was soon met with the soft fabric of the blankets. They were snow white and quite welcoming. Edward's lips found my own with a sudden urgency. I leaned up pressing my body to his, trying to keep us together in every sense of the word. His legs were pinned on either side of me careful not to crush me beneath his weight. His lips trailed down my cheek then to my jaw line. He stopped letting his tongue carefully flicker over my soft skin causing me to shiver at the contact.

He rolled over entwining my fingers within his own. "You should probably take the dress off Bella. Alice would kill us if anything happened to It." he said with a light smirk.

I struggled to get my breathing back to normal only giving him a simple nod as a reply. I squeezed his hand, and leaned closer to him. We had agreed that he would turn me before we dared to do anything else. I rolled over on my stomach tucking my head on top of the pillow.

Edward's arm wrapped around my body pulling me close to his. His fingers trailed over my exposed shoulders before trailing further down to tug at the strings that confined me in the dress. I immediately felt it loosen, exhaling a harsh breath. He tugged the dress down, sitting up and helping me out of it.

I blushed fiercely, before rolling back over and wiggling the dress down over my legs. Thank goodness for Alice and her pointers. I wore lacy light blue undergarments, just for Edward. He pushed the dress off to the floor before returning to lie next to me. I instinctively curled my body around his, resting my head on his broad chest. He had managed to slip out of the top part of his tux, with only black pants clinging to his defined legs.

He rested his head on top of my chin. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he whispered out.

My brows furrowed together. "Edward. I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life." I said maintaining my strong voice. "I just hope you're not trying to back out now." I added quickly.

He simply chuckled at me, spinning me so that I was face to face with him. "Isabella Marie Cullen." he said simply brushing his lips across the bridge of my nose. "I can never deny you anything. You're all mine now, and I want to continue that for eternity."

I grinned at him, and I was sure I probably looked like an idiot but I didn't care. I would finally get eternity fulfilled, and I loved it. I crawled up almost seductively kissing Edward's chest. His cold fingertips traced my hip bones. I could stay like this forever with him as I processed our surrounding.

My lips led up to his hard jaw line nipping at his hard flesh. I wanted to try to make him understand the way he made me feel. I leaned up placing a small kiss onto his forehead, both his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and finally his lips. I pressed my body harder against his, flicking my tongue over his lower lip.

He parted his mouth slightly, letting out tongues touch briefly before pulling away. I sighed leaning down to rest my forehead on his. His hands stroked my back before lifting me up to sit next to him. He leaned over resting his ear directly over my heart. I suppose it was to cherish the last moments of my beating heart.

Edward pulled away letting our eyes meet. "Are you ready for this Bella?" he asked almost breathlessly.

I nodded not sure what else I could do. This was what I had been waiting for since the day I met him.

"Lay down." he commanded. I leaned back, trying to keep my body and heartbeat under control. He leaned forward gripping my wrist before lifting it up to his lips. He breathed out, brushing his tender but firm lips against my wrist. I instinctively closed my eyes, waiting for it all to start happening.

"I'm sorry." he whispered out as his teeth sunk into my wrist. I felt the extreme pain crawl through my body. My lids fluttered open, struggling to keep my vision in check. Edward's eyes were closed, and his lips were still at my palm. The darkness tugged at the corners of my vision but I still managed to cling to the light.

I parted my lips giving out a light gasp, considering I couldn't manage to form a sentence. Edward pulled away, regret immediately covering his face. His arms wrapped around my body, pulling me up and crushing me against his chest. His cold but soothing fingertips brushed against my forehead.

My body burned, and I let out a cry, attempting to grip onto his arms. My limbs just hung at my sides weakly. I felt pathetic; I couldn't even manage to cling to any hope anymore. Edward rocked us back and forth lowering his face to brush his nose against my own.

"I'm sorry." he breathed out once more. I felt my lids grow heavy, and no longer could I cling onto reality. My body shook violently in his arms, and I couldn't tell if it was me or him that was shaking. I felt the darkness engulf every ounce of my body. There was no light and no Edward in this dreadful dream.

I felt myself let out a strong scream, my fists clenching at my sides. Sweats dripped down the bridge of my nose. My body felt like I had been placed upon an open flame, only to be left for dead.

"Hang on Bella..." Edward whispered, his voice seemed to be fading now.

I couldn't open my eyes anymore, but I could feel my heart race rapidly within my chest. My stomach did flips, and made me positively sick. I felt like I was going to explode at any moment. My head throbbed and I just wanted to feel Edwards s hands touch my soft skin. I attempted to adjust to the darkness, but it felt horrible.

My memories were already fading into the dark. Edward's face even seemed fuzzy, along with Charlie's and even Renee's. I felt the urge to reach out to literally grab reality but I couldn't gather up enough strength.

"I love you Bella." I made out vaguely. Whose voice exactly was it that was calling to me?

The stillness settled around me, and I seemed to float. My body tingled and the hollow burning sensation engulfed my throat now. I felt as if my airway was collapsing, and that I wouldn't make it any longer. I heard a blood curdling scream in the distance. Did that noise come from me?

I felt soft hands rub harsh yet soothing circles along my abdomen, then my back. Who was touching me? Reality felt further away with every moment. I floated there, and listened intently. I gasped out in the darkness realizing my heart had stilled. I reached up gripping my throat with one hand and my side with the other. I cried out into this faux reality, trying to save any ounce of humanity I could.

"Shhhh." I heard someone whisper. They didn't seem so far away now. The hot breath tingled against the hollow of my throat. "It'll be alright."

The words faded into the darkness once more. My body shook rapidly again, put I felt as if I was pinned down by weight. I tried to shake the feeling, but I was hopeless. I slammed my eyes shut once more welcoming the calm of the dark. My unrealistic reality was soon broke as earth shattering screams ripped through it. I needed Edward now. I needed him to join me in the darkness. Most of all I needed him to protect me from what I was becoming.

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Review please :)


	2. New Me, New You

Well this only took about forever for me to write.

8/1/09 rip 'Killa' Cam I can't believe your gone. Watch over me.  
You'll forever be in my thoughts and my heart.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters just the plot.

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**Bella's POV**

I sat up in the bed, it immediately thrashed around with my jerky movements. My arms were shaking uncontrollably and I didn't think that was normal. My whole body felt new in every sense of the word. The colors were more vivid, the contours of everything were sharper, reality seemed more appealing.

I lifted my hand up gripping my throat lightly as I struggled to breathe again. My mind scattered every which way as I began to panic. How had I forgotten how to breathe? My lips parted and choking noises escaped. They seemed like deafening screams to me but I'm sure were barely audible to human ears.

I tilted my chin upwards attempting to filter through the room once more. Everything appeared exactly the same. The curtains of the hotel room were open allowing the bright light of Paris to float in around us. My eyes immediately darted to my exposed flesh. Which happened to nearly be 80% of my body considering I was wearing the lingerie Alice had bought for me.

I was literally softly sparkling. Small diamond like beads were embedded into my skin, they would forever mark me. My cold fingertips traced aimless circles against my exposed skin. I felt no change in temperature, but that didn't seem to stop my fascination. I seemed to dazzle even myself. My mind grew cloudy and I could have sat there for hours if not for my small attention span and my need to examine everything.

My eyes flickered back towards the window then drifted down to the dress which now lay on the floor. It was even more beautiful now. I noticed details that I hadn't before. A small dove was stitched into the bottom of the gown. It wasn't out of place, but certainly blended in. The bead work wove vines around the corset like body of the white gown. It seemed to be made perfectly for me. I longed to reach down and stroke it and I probably would have if something else hadn't snagged my attention first.

The sweet enchanting aroma filled my nose. My mouth watered and my throat ached for me to satisfy this seemingly hopeless hunger. My hands clenched then unclenched at my sides. My lids drifted shut as I attempted to control my sudden urges to spring on the pray. My eyes shot open and flickered around the room landing on the sudden isolated heartbeat. It enchanted me as if it was now my caller. It was the only thing I wanted in the world.

It was the boy who sat upright in the chair who the heartbeat belonged to. His head lay in the palm of his hand and his eyes were closed. I narrowed my eyes letting my tongue slip out and dart across my petal soft lips. His chest heaved up and down slowly in almost a rhythmic way. It was as if he was calling me. I jumped up from the bed silently landing on the floor.

I crouched down giving my knees a slight bend. I hunched over lightly in an almost intimidating but graceful way. I stalked over to him as if he were my pray. The scent only got stronger and sweeter as I got closer to him. I reached out dragging the tips of my fingers across his forehead. The thin layer of sweat that covered his brow transferred to my fingers.

I leaned forward to examine him more. I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. My face was nearly pressed against his. He smelled sweeter than any flower or delicious treat I'd ever come across before. My eyes adjusted to the close proximity as I attempted to take in all of his features. I immediately took a step back giving a light gasp. I was sure if my heart was still beating that it would be racing within my chest.

This was my Edward, that I was sure of. He had the same perfectly messy hair. The sharp curves of his face were softened lightly. The bruise like bags under his eyes had disappeared. He had a faint creamy pink color to him now instead of that startling pale. He was still magnificently beautiful, especially now that he looked like a sleeping angel. A choking feeling built up in my throat once more and my eyes burned. I couldn't cry anymore but now I longed too.

My memories with him felt still and slow, as if they had occurred decades ago. His face was already blurred in my mind, and if he hadn't been in front of me then I probably would have forgotten his face. It hurt to think that way but then again I was also happy. Happy for him anyway. My Edward was getting a second chance at life. I sighed lightly because that simple sentence was bittersweet. I had become a vampire to be with him for all eternity and now he wouldn't be spending it with me.

I was completely alone in this new life.

"Edward." I called out softly. My voice was graceful and flawless. I felt so much different than before.

His body gently moved from side to side. His shoulders slumped slightly and his breathing became uneven. My brows furrowed finding sudden interest in examining his new actions. I had never seen Edward sleep. Edward's lids fluttered open revealing bright green eyes. My face contorted as I struggled to remember what being human felt like.

I could still feel the hollow burning from the night before; hunger I assumed. My chest felt as if I had literally exploded. Edward shifted around in his chair, his body immediately stiffened at the sight of me. His eyes grew wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Bella?" he whispered his lips barely moving.

I gave a slow nod, well as slow as I could manage anyway. I could feel the thirst fade back in and then out again, I attempted to keep my thirst at bay. The newborn blood swirled in my veins which perhaps caused this strong want for him. I tried to recall the things he's said to me about my blood. All his words were groggy and my mind felt like it was just stuck. Stuck in this reality, and in this present.

Edward's cheeks flushed immediately but his eyes never left mine. I bit down on the inside of my lip as his heart beat pounded in my ears increasing with every passing second. Even now every part of Edward attracted me to him, he was like my own personal gravity.

I reached out to him stroking his cheek with the tips of my fingers. He looked a little shocked and gave a light shiver as if the room was cold. Sooner than I had anticipated the smell of his sweet soft skin assaulted me harshly. I flinched away retracting my hand as I did so; but soon found his warm fingertips tracing my face. He looked bewildered and astonished.

Edward's hand was so warm and I hadn't realized it but I longed for him to touch me this way. I just stared at him in attempt to capture this moment in my mind. He looked so enchanting. His skin didn't sparkle like mine and his eyes weren't the color of liquid gold. Yet he seemed to trump me in every way possible.

"What happened to us?" I choked out kneeling right next to the chair.

Edward's hands slowly trailed around my head before curling themselves in my soft hair. He stroked it and examined it closely as if it would fade away at any moment. Edward remained silent and seemed intently focused on me. His thumb traced the new found bags under my eyes, although they were light but still noticeable. He traced across the bridge of my nose to my now full lips. His thumb grazed across my bottom lip, pressing firmer against it than he had anywhere else.

I held my breath resisting the urge to bite his hand. My face felt hot as if his touch burned my marble skin. I was the exposed flesh and he was the burning flame upon my body. I reached out, covering his hand with my own in attempt to comfort the both of us.

"Edward, what happened to us?" I repeated slowly in a soft whisper.

His eyes locked with mine and his face grew closer to my own. Inch by inch he grew closer to me and I did nothing to stop him. He looked dazed and perhaps a little confused too.

"Bella, I'm human."

I pulled away from him suddenly falling back to the floor with a substantial thud. I refused to believe this trickery. This was perhaps still part of that faux reality I had been trapped in last night. I shook my head fiercely from left to right in a no manor. I simply wouldn't believe it.

My true Edward would be back any moment now. He had stumbled across this boy who looked exactly like him to test me. Yes that's it. He wants to test my will power. I would not let him down.

"You're not Edward." I growled out. The tone didn't sound like me. It was much too harsh, I wasn't capable of being like that.

He flinched away at the sound of my voice. Hurt and concern filled his bright eyes. Instantly I felt waves of regret rush through me at just the simple feeling of hurting him. He reached down towards me, his fingers wrapping themselves around my wrist. I wanted to pull away but the weight of the world seemed to crash down upon me. I felt immobile to say the least.

"It is me. I'm Edward." his voice was soft and soothing. He sounded like an innocent teenage boy who was becoming a man.

Suddenly he sprang up from the chair pouncing down upon me. His arms wrapped around me my torso, seeming to try to mesh our bodies together. I suppose his new found human self couldn't move me without my own will so instead he crushed his body against mine. The warmth sparked between us in as many ways as possible.

I felt shocked to say the least. The Edward I remembered was always tender, and would never jump on me. His forehead rested against my own and his warm breath blew against my face. His fingers gingerly rubbed my lower back.

I tried to relax some at this contact, and I got to the point where it was safe enough to wrap my arms around him in return. I rested against him, never sharing the full weight of my body. I strained to remember the things Edward did with me, but I had no luck. I resorted to treating him as if he were a piece of glass that had already been broken once before.

"I love you." he breathed out seemingly breathless.

Had I acted this way around him when I was human? If I could blush I probably would of been as red as an apple. I sighed lightly allowing my eyes to drift shut. It was funny how that even when Edward was the human he had better control over himself than I did.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

Our bodies felt as if they were meshed together as one now. The warmth from his touch provided comfort. He shivered lightly every few minutes or so but I decided finally that it was normal.

_'He would grow used to my cold exterior with time.'_ With that passing thought it reminded me of what we had to do next.

"We need to call Carlisle." I said pulling away from him.

Edward frowned at me breaking the contact between the two of us. I suppose now that my blood didn't call to him he could afford to be selfish. His scent hit me in harsh waves as he nodded his head. I made a sour face motioning for him to get up. I needed to put the distance between us for now. I surely didn't want my love to end up dead.

Edward made his way to the dresser where his phone sat. He studied himself in the mirror carefully first. I could tell he was shocked by his eyes and perhaps his expression in general. Although I secretly wondered if he was aging. Just the thought of him getting a tiny bit older sent thrills through me, this was truly a miracle.

Edward tore his face away from the mirror to reach out for the cell phone. He flipped it open and immediately began trying to type the numbers with speed and grace. I stifled my laughter at his annoyed expression. Apparently things hadn't gone too well for him.

He finally got the combination of numbers right, pressing the phone firmly against his ear.

"Edward my son. How are things?" Carlisle asked cheerfully. His voice seemed crystal clear

"Oh Carlisle we have some problems." Edward said his brows furrowing at his own statement.

I stood up and attempted to avoid any eye contact with Edward. I opened the suitcase with ease and just slipped on the first thing that was packed. It happened to be a green button up shirt that belonged to Edward.

"What's the problem Edward?" the happy tone Carlisle once held was completely gone.

"I'm human." Edward said simply.

I gazed at myself in the mirror for the first time. I had blood red eyes which was horrifying if I do say so myself. My hair looked softer and silkier My skin was paler if that was even possible. I suppose I just radiated a different aura. Beauty, confidence yet shy and sweet.

Carlisle gave a hearty laughed at Edwards statement. "Oh Edward you almost had me fooled for a second."

"Carlisle this is no laughing matter." Edward said a bit flustered.

The phone grew eerie and completely silent at Edward's statement.

"You must come home immediately." Carlisle said sternly. "We will all meet you at the airport at four o'clock tomorrow afternoon."

"Thank you." Edward replied simply about to hang up.

"Wait I want to talk to him!" Esme said in the background taking the phone.

"Edward dear." Esme said sweetly.

"Hello Esme."

"Don't be scared Edward. We love you and everything will be fine." I myself even found comfort in her words.

Edward's eyes found mine. "Bella and I love you too. And I trust things will work out."

With that Edward hung up the phone and began walking towards me. I just kind of stood there, mostly amazed by him. His feet were heavy against the carpeted floor, slightly dragging beneath him. His hand reached out for mine and I gladly accepted the invitation.

He attempted to tug me into his arms but it didn't quite workout and probably just made his arm sore. I smiled lightly before stepping forward into his embrace. His warm arms seemed to save me. I didn't feel so lost anymore.

Edward gazed down at me, despite all that had happened to us he looked happy. I could feel the corners of my mouth pull downwards into a slight frown.

"Your wondering why I'm still happy right?" he asked me the same crooked smile planted to his face.

I suppose my bewilderment beat me to my answer because now he was laughing at me. "Just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you aren't the same old Bella. I can still mostly read your expressions." he added.

I frowned at him now resisting the urge to squeeze his waist. That would probably end up with a few broken bones, and none of them being mine.

"Well to answer your first question. You're still my wife Bella, this is still my honeymoon. I love you and just being around you, no matter the situation is good enough for me."

I opened my mouth then closed it once more. I was at a loss for words. He was completely right, and yet all wrong at the same time. I sighed opening my mouth once more to give protest at his words. His face swooped down growing closer to mine. He crushed our lips together his hands now finding themselves under my shirt.

He tugged the shirt up lightly revealing my lower back and some of my stomach. His hands stroked and pushed hard against my back pinning us together. My arms wrapped around his neck in attempt to deepen what we were already doing.

I found myself craving every part of him. My body burned once more and the hunger pains were now gnawing at me. It felt like real physical pain but I refused to break from Edward. One of his hands left my back in effort to unbutton the front of my shirt.

He fumbled with the buttons at first but soon I felt his body directly on mine. He pushed against me tightly and almost roughly. I had longed for this so many times, and now just when I got my wish, just us even touching hurt me. He pulled his lips away from mine trailing kisses down to my neck. His hands pushed my hair out of the way as his lips trailed lower. He pushed my shirt down off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

My eyes snapped open at the sudden realization. I was so ready but so unready for all that was happening to us. I wanted to try this with Edward, but I would kill him if we tried it now. I took a sharp jerky step back and continued on until my back hit the post of the bed. My chest heaved violently up and down taking in unneeded breaths. I frowned at him as I clutched my throat.

Edward nearly stumbled to the floor but quickly stood up straight. His shirt was unbuttoned too and his hair was messy. His cheeks burned a red color, as the blood flushed through his face. I clutched my throat tighter in effort to cool the burning feeling.

Edward ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were filled with disappointment as well as his features. He pulled his eyes away from mine and turned away from me. He was focused on buttoning his shirt and something else.

"We should probably start packing." he said walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

I sunk to the floor slowly, and connected with the carpet with a less than quiet thud. I hugged my knees to my chest burying my face in them. My eyes burned once more and hollow sobs escaped my lips. My body was shaking almost violently now and I suppose this was what its like to be a vampire. You didn't have sadness or tears in this dead life.

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Review and let me know what you think. :)


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